I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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