I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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