He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
