If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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