you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize