Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
