I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
