I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
