Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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