Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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