just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
