What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The struggles of a small town man whore
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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