i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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