Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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