i don't like sucking hair
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
