Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
