I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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