I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
