i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
