Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
