That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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