then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
