now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
