is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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