He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
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