Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
