Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
