btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
