And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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