Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.