his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
