I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
