There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
