If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
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I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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