He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
