I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize