HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
