Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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