haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
