Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
