It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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