were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
