maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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