Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
