Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
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screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
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She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.