i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!