The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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