I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
