I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize