the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
