what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want her autograph on my taint
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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