Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
