Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
