I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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