Already got asked if we're dating
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
