So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
