winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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