Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
